It's 2009!

So what does one feel on the first day of the NEW YEAR?

Anti-climax.

It took 365 days to get through 2008 and now I have to start all over again. On a clean slate.

My cup is empty again.

I feel dry and flat. Will have to rebuild my blocks again...

But then again, the new year is just like any other day. Just don't look at the date!

I guess this year will be filled with lots of uncertainties and also surprises and lots more stressful days! Well, with the baby coming and due in July, there is only 7 months to prepare. Doesn't sound like a lot of time actually. January will surely fly very fast as CNY is just round the corner. Just as how fast Christmas had come and gone...just like that!

(Gee!... my lunch has made me extremely thirsty! Made my own tortilla roll with teriyaki chicken. Must be the chicken. Hubby and Ryan went out with his Ta koo koo and family to Midvalley since morning.)

Economy being so unstable... I have to be very careful in my expenses. My part-time salary is enough to get by...for Ryan's daily necessities. So, have to start saving more for the baby too.
How to save, leh? I seem to be going shopping almost every day since Christmas. But don't normally buy much.

My hopes for this year is... to be a patient individual in any situation I may encounter. To love my son and husband unconditionally and to be with my family as often as I can.

Just have to write here...
Yesterday's New Year's Eve programs on TV was the worst EVER... ! Never seen such bad line up of shows! What are the programmers doing? Are the TV stations also trying to cut budget by getting really lousy shows or airing 'Chinese' singaporean dramas on the eve of such a big occasion? Bad. Disappointing. Dampened my mood to stay up till midnight. Only TV8 aired something special. But even their live New Year Quickie Special was such a let down. Just got a bunch of college kids to liven up the studio celebrations. Boring! Can't believe NTV7 didn't even air anything special. And they call it 'the feel good channel!'

Sleepless Nights!

Since getting pregnant, my bladder have been working overtime. Round the clock but especially more hardworking during the night time.

Gosh... I get up like on an average of 4 times every night. Even though my water consumption is reduced after 8pm, I still have the same output almost every night. Getting up is not so bad... it is more the going back to sleep after that. Normally, after the 3rd time, I would be having difficulty falling asleep after that. My mind would be working and thinking of things... from Christmas, to customers at the pharmacy to some of the blogger children and Mummies. Yeah... I am crazy! Ryan and hubby's snoring keep me company for 2 hours before I fall back to sleep again!

Sleepless nights make Mummy exhausted the next morning.

3rd Visit to Gynae

Today I had my 3 rd follow up with Dr. Lim. He was going on a long Christmas break for 2 weeks...so everyone had a mad rush to see him. Long wait and he had 2 operations lined up when I got there. I drove like a crazy woman to get to the hospital as early as I could...but still couldn't make it for a good queue number. Anyway, once I heard that he was in a middle of an op, I decided to leave and come back later.

Quickly made a dash to Carrefour and Mydin. Had one and half hours before I had to rush to fetch Ryan from school at noon. So tried to do as much of my Christmas grocery shopping before the weekend. ( BTW, my in laws and the whole gang will be coming this Sunday for a Christmas lunch here... and I am really nervous and stressed already about the Christmas menu on that day!- anyway that is another post.)

Picked up Ryan from school. He was so chatty and happy to see me. He was almost the last kid to be fetched. He was so cute... the teacher somehow slapped so much powder on his face. So his face was all smothered with powder. We went to McDonalds for lunch. I had not enough time to cook his lunch. On top of that, I was totally knacked from all the rushing around. Ryan and I shared a Mc chicken meal and nuggets. He was such a happy kid chomping down his fries and dipping them in the tomato ketchup. It has been more than a month since he had those oily treats! The boy was surprisingly well-behaved throughout the entire meal there. Thank goodness! I don't think I would have enough energy to deal with him at that time.

We arrived at Dr. Lim's clinic at 3.30pm. I was rather worried that it had way past Ryan's afternoon siesta... so I knew that he could just burst into tantrums any moment. Thankfully I didn't have to wait long.

The appointment...
Dr. Lim as usual extended his hand whenever a patient enters the room. He looked tired. Ryan stood next to me while the doc took my pressure and did his usual checks. Then he took the ultrasound of my tummy to have a look at the baby. First 5 mins...he was scanning around. The baby looked happy.. could see the hands moving. Size was good. Development was according to the weeks... now is 11 weeks 5 days.

After that, the doc looked serious.. and asked me whether I had bled during this pregnancy. I answered "no". He noticed some bleeding accumulating at the membrane wall of the placenta. My mind just went blank after that and my heart just sank. "Oh no...why complications?" I thought to myself. I asked some questions that showed my anxiousness. But the doc was really reassuring and said that it is common and it should be reabsorbed over time. If I do get any bleeding, just go and get the baby checked again. I just felt like something heavy sitting on my shoulders. Although I rejoiced to see the baby, hearing that there was some thing going on inside me... made me so unsettled.

Anyway, I went home and checked the internet about this. I arrived at this condition which the doc failed to inform me... it is called subchorionic haematoma. Apparently many women in their first trimester experience this... and the seriousness depends on how serious the clot is. Dr. Lim didn't believe in giving any medications... whereas some doctors use hormone pills to settle it. I guess more rest and less movement would help. I kept on asking myself what may I have done to bring about this... was it something I did... did I walk too much, or walk too fast or take too much supplements... any overdose in iron in my diet... etc. But apparently, the cause of SCH is unknown.

OK...I guess i just have to take it easy. I can't wait for the 4 weeks to pass as fast as possible so I can view the baby again and hope the bleeding would be gone!