Feeling Guilty!

I committed the ultimate 'sin'...

I ate fried chicken skin!!!!!!!!!

Normally, with KFC, i would put the skin aside knowing of the absolutely high likelihood of the fats clogging up my arteries! But yesterday, when I was having Popeye's Fried Chicken (for the second time)... the first thought that came to my mind was "What the heck!"

It was just freshly fried and the batter was crisp and light. I couldn't resist throwing it away. I took one bite... yummy... then 'whack-ed' the rest of the chicken...!!!

Oh no... i dare not test my cholesterol level after I have given birth! Nevermind lah. I told myself that I would be banned from all these food for the next 2 months...so I might as well indulge a little!

Baking...

Have not been baking much the past months.

All the ingredients are sitting in the fridge. So sometimes, when I am not bitten by the 'lazy' bug, I will suddenly feel like making something.

Had some leftover puff pastry from Christmas time. So decided to make Chicken Pie. I also had some leftover whipping cream that i used for making pasta sauce. So Voila! For an afternoon tea time snack. Simple pie. Nothing fancy. Pies are one of my favourite food and pretty easy to make. Can eat enough la.

I had always wanted to try making muffins... so first attempt in making muffins was not a failure neither was it a success. It just came out somehow quite hard and solid. The butter smell was rather strong too. Next time I have to put less butter.

Next recipe I am looking at is No-bake Oreo Cheesecake. I suppose that would be a treat to myself before my confinement days. Sounds simple... just need to get my tin first.

Baby @ 32 weeks

Went for check up earlier this week.

Yippee hurray! The baby has turned head down! I felt so happy and relieved when the doc told me during the scan. I really hopes she stays down there. Haha. She might decide to 'swim' back up again.

She weights around 2.2kg now. No wonder I feel harder stepping out of bed and getting out of a chair/sofa now. But I still walk very fast. Baby kicks me more. I can feel her more too. Tiny little thuds here and there. No elbow sticking out yet. But sometimes I feel her pushing on my bladder.

Went for J card day in BBT this week. Got some stuff for baby. Not as much as I had planned. They didn't have much variety there. But pretty cheap la after 30% discount. Missed out to get the mosquito net. There were so many people there but we got there early. So it was quite ok shopping. First time for hubby.

I really don't believe that it is only one and a half months more. So near yet so far.

Early morning!

It just turned 7am and the sun is rising now.

I couldn't sleep ever since going to the loo at 6am. Was tossing and turning around in bed. So many things going through my mind. The sound of the air-conditioner whirring was keeping me awake too.

The feeling of boredom. The feeling of depression. The feeling of anxiousness. All rolled into one.

I guess the feeling of boredom is the most la. Probably about 90%? Dunno why. The only feeling of enlightenment that I get is when I spend money. Even that is short-lived. And also when I look at my little boy and seeing his silly antics. Even that is is also short-lived after he starts to annoy me or get me angry.

I look forward to my new life as a mother of two. But also I also realize that it would be a completely ball game than what I have now. So it is like I am trying to juggle with what I am enjoying with life right now as much as possible before the new chapter starts. But the problem is the life that I have right now is boring me already. And in a way, I can't wait for the new chapter to start soon. Am I making much sense? Probably not.

When I go shopping, the shops bore me. I know exactly where are the things and they are the same things at the same place. When I go to the zoo, I still remember the animals as they were 2 years ago when I was there. Yawn! When I go to work, I see the same customers and dispense to them the same medications and we talk about the same things. Yawn! When I eat at my favourite restaurants, I will order the same items on the menu as when I ate there countless times before. Yawn! When I watch Astro, I will flip to the same programs as I watched the day before.

I think Ryan is also bored. He plays with his cars morning, afternoon and night. But he doesn't complain. I asked him whether he finds it fun, he agreed with me. Just spend RM70 on books for him yesterday... just 2 books. One encyclopedia and a phonics book. I gave him a Matchbox car set that I bought a few months ago at a warehouse sale yesterday. That excited him... for awhile.

Today is Sunday. Even planning what to do today is keeping my mind busy. What to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner? Oh yah, even eating bores me. 'Sian'. Always eat the same stuff for meals.

I really sound like an old woman.