Tribute to my Mother. Irene Goh

Dearest Mama,

It has been almost 2 and a half years that you have left us. I think of you every single day. There is always something i see or experience that will remind me of you. Maybe when i see the TV programme that you used to enjoy watching, a song that you enjoyed listening to or a place where you would often frequent or even how much you enjoyed Christmas time!

I am filled with regrets.
Regrets that I was never a good daughter to you as how you would have wanted me to be. Regrets that I was never there for you as how you would have wanted me to be.
Regrets that I never spent enough time with you as how you would have wanted me to.
Regrets that we had so many disagreements in so many things.
Regrets that all you ever wanted was respect and love from me.but you never told me that.
Regrets that I never listened to you as how you would have wanted me to.
Regrets that I hardly said " I love you, Mama"
Regrets that I hardly said " I am sorry, Mama"

I guess it is all to late for regrets. Never live in regret.

Never take anyone you love for granted. Life is very uncertain.

Mama,

You influenced my life in so many ways that I never realised.
My love for cooking and recipe books.
My love for fashion magazines.
My love for celebrity/entertainment shows.
My love for house decorations and all things pretty.
My love for music and classical music and concerts.
My love for Christmas.
My love for celebrations.

I treasure the moments that we had together since I was a little girl to a teenager. Following you around on your errands and your shopping trips. Taking Ah Mah on her errands and her shopping trips.

Your love were buying lovely pretty things for your grandchildren. Your love were introducing music to the grandchildren at a young age. Your love was to cook and entertain people. Your love was sewing curtains. Your love was pink things. Your love was perfume and all things pretty.
You were always buying things for me. And i felt guilty.

Mama,

There is nothing in this world that can bring you back. But I know you knew that I loved you very much and I cared deeply for you.