Must keep healthy!

Oh no... my nose is starting to get itchy and runny! Hope it is just some allergic reaction! Been coughing today. Ryan has been complaining of phlegm since 2 days ago.

Don't want to fall sick when Pui Yit goes home. More worried about the baby. Need to be TOP form.

Better get some Vitamin C effervescent tablets !

21st day of Confinement

Today is the 3rd week since Allyson was born.

I am filled with lots of anxiety right now. Don't know why my mood is like a roller coaster. When I look at Allyson, I smile and my heart is filled with love and joy for this little bundle. Then, a minute later, when Ryan gets irritating and just being plain right naughty, I will start to yell at him and even give him a whacking or two! I normally don't get so irate so easily. I normally don't beat him so easily. But yesterday, somehow I was very very short fused! And I let it out on my boy!

Totally feel bad. I looked at him last night as Ryan slept next to me... I just felt so guilty and my eyes welled up with tears. I love him so very much and I don't want to hurt him.

I know what I am feeling is the post natal hormones making me like an emotional sap!
I got to take control of my emotions and don't let this post-natal mood swings get the better of me. Hubby doesn't really understand too... so I guess I got to get over it by myself. Make myself busy. I guess.

So, now... i have given myself a little project. To collect some yummy home-cooked recipes from blogs.. categorize them according to different types of food...eg. chicken, pork, soups, beancurd...and then it will be easier for me to refer to them next month. I am contemplating to stop the caterer but then again, I don't think I can handle cooking for 3 adults and looking after a newborn and toddler without any help. But the caterer's food is getting boring ( 2nd month now only). Another option is to reduce the number of heads ( from 3 to 2) and just top up a dish or two every night. Maybe will do that. Also, I plan to list out the menu for the whole week.. so that I can plan what I want to get from the market on a weekly basis.

Being everyday at home... the pui yit and I follow the 5pm TV8 chinese serial...'Shining Stars' or is it 'Shooting Stars'... something like that. Then at 6pm, she follows the AEC Korean serial 'Married with six children'...then at 7pm, we both watch 'Heart of Greed' at TV8 again.Don't know whether she should be watching so much TV... but I feel bad for her. Anyway, the baby is sleeping around that time... and she does cook around 7.30pm for me. Watching these serials are making the days pass really really quickly! (the actor Raymond Lam from 'Heart of Greed' is kinda of dishy!!!)

My breast milk is still the same. Not increase in volume. And that is adding to my anxiety. Sigh. Why other mothers don't seem to have the problem getting milk??? Even skinny slim friends.. have lots of milk being churned out. I must be doing some thing wrong. Still trying to be patient. I pump 4 times a day. Know it is not enough. So trying to increase to 5 times a day since Tuesday. Still don't see much increment in volume. Still getting around 1.5 oz to 2 oz each time. Allyson has stopped suckling on my breast since the 1st week. She gets all red like a tomato and cries in such distress when I put her to my breast that I don't want to force her. Maybe I shouldn't have given up so fast.

Look at that cheeky face. Allyson certainly looks like her
kor kor at that age

My 2 lovely kids...joy of my life

Half Way Through Confinement

Today is my 14th day after delivery.

Pui Yit will be going back in another 2 more weeks.

Sob! Sob! I have gotten really spoilt and contented in having someone in the house to help me. It is nice too having company. I feel safe and someone mothering me!

Have to admit that I haven't been a good 'mummy' during this confinement. I always forget to wear my slippers and socks. I wash the plates and cups eventhough she will be yelling at me to just put it in the sink. Been touching alot of cold water. I washed my hair after the 5th day of delivery. I bathed after coming back from the hospital. I went out to Tesco one week after delivery. I drove and sent Ryan to school 5 days after delivery.

Just worried of the 'after' effects... like bone pain, back pain etc. if I don't take care now. But somehow, what about those mothers who don't have maids or confinement ladies??? Surely they too have to run the household right after childbirth... whether they like it or not.

I guess I shouldn't be so stubborn... since I have some 'help' for a month, I should utilise it, right?

Just because I feel fine and dandy now, doesn't mean few years down the road, I won't have any bodyaches attributed from not taking care after childbirth?

Allyson is awake now. She had a nice long sleep since 7.30am... will go and play with her now before I fetch her Kor-Kor from school!

Breast feeding worries

Allyson is 12 days old today.

As I am typing on the keyboard now, she is sleeping in the playpen downstairs being accompanied by the Pui Yit.

I have to admit that I haven't really been hands-on in taking care of Allyson since she was born. I guess I will let the Pui Yit handle Allyson until maybe one week before she has to leave. Kind of nervous on how to burp her and bathe her when I am all alone. Right now, I feel so safe coz I have some one experienced who knows how to look after babies. I have forgotten all those ways on how to take care of baby when Ryan was born. I guess it will come back to me when I really have to face it.

Allyson is almost on 100% formula feed at the moment. I know I haven't really emphasised purely on breastfeeding. The first few days when she was born, I tried putting her to the breast to suckle. But after several days, I gave up forcing her to suckle coz she was always struggling and crying when I put her to the breast. Maybe I shouldn't have gave up so fast. I felt so bad pushing her. My nipples were also not very easy to latch on and she got frustrated after awhile. So now, I am pumping out my milk. Now into Day 12,my milk supply has remained stagnant ... not increasing. Worried when will I get the let-down. Each time I pump, I only get about 40-50ml of milk... and I try to pump every 3-4 hours. I don't pump at night. Guess the frequency of extracting is probably one of the reasons why the milk supply is low. Should try letting her suckle again. Not sure whether she will still take to the breast after so many days of not suckling.

Hai.. worry worry worry. I really want to give her breast milk. I want her to be a strong baby with natural antibodies. I guess I just don't want to depend on synthetically produced milk.
But no point stressing myself about it if my breastmilk really doesn't really come in. As long as I know I tried and gave my best...

Allyson looking contented