Breast feeding worries

Allyson is 12 days old today.

As I am typing on the keyboard now, she is sleeping in the playpen downstairs being accompanied by the Pui Yit.

I have to admit that I haven't really been hands-on in taking care of Allyson since she was born. I guess I will let the Pui Yit handle Allyson until maybe one week before she has to leave. Kind of nervous on how to burp her and bathe her when I am all alone. Right now, I feel so safe coz I have some one experienced who knows how to look after babies. I have forgotten all those ways on how to take care of baby when Ryan was born. I guess it will come back to me when I really have to face it.

Allyson is almost on 100% formula feed at the moment. I know I haven't really emphasised purely on breastfeeding. The first few days when she was born, I tried putting her to the breast to suckle. But after several days, I gave up forcing her to suckle coz she was always struggling and crying when I put her to the breast. Maybe I shouldn't have gave up so fast. I felt so bad pushing her. My nipples were also not very easy to latch on and she got frustrated after awhile. So now, I am pumping out my milk. Now into Day 12,my milk supply has remained stagnant ... not increasing. Worried when will I get the let-down. Each time I pump, I only get about 40-50ml of milk... and I try to pump every 3-4 hours. I don't pump at night. Guess the frequency of extracting is probably one of the reasons why the milk supply is low. Should try letting her suckle again. Not sure whether she will still take to the breast after so many days of not suckling.

Hai.. worry worry worry. I really want to give her breast milk. I want her to be a strong baby with natural antibodies. I guess I just don't want to depend on synthetically produced milk.
But no point stressing myself about it if my breastmilk really doesn't really come in. As long as I know I tried and gave my best...

Allyson looking contented