2013...Here we come!!!

I thought 2012 would be a good year...since it is the Dragon Year and I am a dragon baby...but well, we don't really believe in all that, do we?

Honestly, 2012 was a speedy year. I seriously cannot really recall anything significant that I could jot down here. Maybe a few trips here and there...and a few milestones for the kids.

As for me, it hasn't been a really good year for me. I was sick for almost 2 months...having a persistent cough during midyear. The kids were also sick rather often this year. Especially Ally. Got well and then kena again cough like a few weeks later. So it was medicine, doctor...checking temperature and medicine again. A merry go round.

But hey, I don't want to remember all that. I just want 2013 to be a healthier year for all of us. Especially now that hubby's uric acid level has shot up over the upper limit and my cholesterol level is going to shoot up now that I have decided to stop Hypocol. Now, all I can think is how to cook healthier and exclude food that would affect his uric acid level. My UA level isn't very good either. So have to really watch what we eat! I also hope to start some yoga class. I just read my 2012 To-do list and it was in my list that year. Can bring forward to 2013...hope I can fulfill it!

Ryan will be starting Primary 1 in 2 days time. Allyson would be starting kindy too. How my anxiety level will shoot up by tomorrow. Anyway,that will be in 2013. Will have to face it no matter what. Ryan is having fever and sore throat now. Hope he will be okay by then.

So what do I look forward in 2013?

- A new android handphone...finally!!! I thought I would not get one and would just be happy with my old NOKIA phone...but I suddenly like the idea to have a phone where I can go online whenever I am out somewhere. Gonna settle for a SONY xperia.

- Preparing different kinds of lunch box for Ryan to take to school. I am collecting lunchbox ideas now. Hope I will be hardworking enough to execute them. I might just get lazy and get those buns for the bakery for him.

-Driver for the kids. Ally will be in morning session kindy and Ryan in afternoon school. In between, have to prepare meals for them before I locum at W in the evenings twice a week.

-I have to tell Hubs that we have to at least take the kids to one special holiday destination in 2013.

-Enrol myself in some yoga class. Fashion makeover. ( This to-do goal has been over and over again in my list...and still not done yet!...sigh!)

-Most importantly...improve TIME MANAGEMENT!!!! That is the ultimate goal that I have to maintain the entire year.

-Reignite my cooking mojo. Perhaps bake more....and improve my kitchen tools. The tools that I have now...some very old.

 I am gonna get my sugar fix now. We got some cakes to celebrate in the new year.

No more Ms Nice Girl!

I am afraid I have to dig somewhere deep inside my closet and take out my 'Not a Nice Girl' hat now!

Someone has been really testing my patience...and now, I guess I have to be stern now!

I don't like it. Makes me nervous. Especially I am the one making the decisions.

And nope, it is not hubby or kids!

Happily Ever After...Not!

So were you surprised with the divorce of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise???

Actually I was more surprised that their marriage survived THAT long. Every time I used to see photos of her and Tom Cruise together, I would be looking closely for any evidence of a unhappy Katie in those photos. But they managed to conceal it well all these years. Well, they are actors after all.

When I heard the news of the divorce on the radio while I was driving Ryan to school, I felt a sense of relief for Katie Holmes. I felt her freedom from the marriage. Like she was thinking to herself..."FINALLY I can breathe and lead my own life now". I don't know. I kinda of anticipated that this was coming since she became Mrs. Cruise. Deep down, I felt that it was a union that was not meant to me.

After I learnt further that it was she that filed for divorce and that it came as a surprise to Mr. Cruise, I could feel that Katie was probably suffering all these years. But we the public would never know what she was feeling. It is always the kids that would get entangled in a nasty divorce. And this seems like it will be one. Hopefully with good family support, mother and daughter will be okay.
After all, this is Tom Cruise. One of the most powerful actors in Hollywood. He will definitely not lose custody of his daughter without a fight.

11 July- Good to hear that it has been settled out of court and Ms Holmes has full custody of Suri. I am surprised though that Tom Cruise had settled in this way. 

Bad Air quality

The haze last night was so bad yesterday at my area.

It was almost suffocating.

Every year, during these dry spells...somehow my area which is along the KESAS highway gets very badly hit by the haze. You can't even inhale without feeling choked by the smoke at night.

I remember there were years where visibility was so bad while driving home at night.

I really hope this dry spell will end soon. Feel sorry for the old and those asthma sufferers.

A year older...

It's nice to embrace age.

For me...each year getting older sometimes scares me. Coz I really don't know how I would look like when I am 50. I hope to be healthy. And hope to still look youthful.

But looking at the rate of how I take care of myself...I doubt that I would be feeling 'good' about myself by that age.

Reality sunk in last month...about a month before my birthday.

I looked at my wrinkles. I looked at the eye bags.I looked at the post natal flab that has been comfortably residing around my waist since Ally was born.

So I had an 'A-ha' moment where I told myself to take charge of my life.

I was looking all over the internet for some form of inspiration...fashion makeover...how to beautify yourself with proper skincare...etc.

Within that week...I headed out to get myself a new pair of running shoes...went to get some clothes...bought a Clinique chubby stick for my lips and got an eye cream for my wrinkles.

Each day I slapped on sunscreen and went out with light make up which I normally don't do. Spraying some perfume also made me more 'whole'.

That was one month ago.

Now...I have reverted back to my ol' lazy ways again.

But it certainly felt good during that change. 

No more oven

Took out the butter, took out all the ingredients...

measured the flour and sugar...

went over to switch on the oven ....

CHIAK!!!

The door got stuck...and then the glass panel came out.

And that was it.

My almost 3 year old oven is over and out!!!

Okay la.It wasn't much of an oven. It is those portable electric oven. But it was good enough for me. Although there was uneven heat at some spots of the oven.

Was gonna bake an apple cake for the kids.

Never mind. Good Good. Gives me an excuse to go get a better nicer one!!!

PMS

Every time my menses is about to come...I am like a walking volcano...ready to abrupt any moment.

And my poor kids are the ones to suffer from it.

Sigh.

I scream so much. And I feel so easily irritated when the elder kid cannot do something that is up to my expectation. Normally I would get annoyed...but when it is nearing my menses...the patience level is practically zero.

I know it isn't nice to hear a screaming yelling parent all the time. No one likes to hear that. I myself don't like to see parents getting angry and annoyed with their children...especially in public.

Ooommmmmm....

My first CPD point 2012

So excited that I earned my first CPD point (Continuing Professional Development) for the year 2012 last Saturday.

Since the implementation of compulsory CPD points by the MPS this year for renewal of our pharmacist annual retention cert...it definitely made me all panic and worried for while. I was actually very worried when I first heard about it. Especially that I am not active in the working world...how to obtain information about talks etc???


After reading more about how to obtain the points...which I have totally neglected since being a pharmacist in 2000....yes yes...I am one lazy bum...it is not that difficult to obtain the points. It is definitely on my own initiative to make the move and get my butt moving. Last time when working full time and before becoming a mother...no problem. I still attended talks on weekends etc. But after being a mother, somehow time is precious and CPE takes second seat or practically becomes non-existent.

So, after attending my first talk last Saturday (after a lloooooong time)...it felt good. It felt good to be kept up to date again. Well, let's see whether I can continue this drive for another 14 other talks or to do CPE online which I am gonna start soon.

American Idol Season 11

This year...AI...more interesting than last year.But I still enjoyed last years group...only not the winners.

The bunch this year..almost all in the Top 10 are very talented. I don't have particular favorite yet. I have a few. Hollie. Philip.Jessica.

Like. Like. Like.

Glad that Ryan is keen to follow with me. He gives his feedback and tells me which song he likes. He has been following AI with me eversince the Adam Lambert season.

The Ups and Downs of being a FTSAHM

It has been officially 3 weeks since I have been a FTSAHM. Before March, I was a PTSAHM! :)

So how is the journey so far?

Let's say...there are some days I wake up...glad that I don't have to worry or stress about anything related to work and proceed through the day just chilling. BUT there are moments throughout the day where it suddenly hits me that I CAN"T GO ON LIKE THIS! I NEED INCOME!

I guess the hardest part is realising that when everytime I am using my money to buy things for the kids, family etc...there isn't anymore coming in to replace it! So that is where I will feel down for awhile.. and feeling bad that I want to give my kids a little bit of something extra.But yet again, I have to start making the ringgit stretch a little further till I get another locum job.

And THAT...is another problem. I am enjoying being 'jobless' (BUT not incomeless, mind u)...that I am too complacent and comfortable to actually move my butt to inquire about locum jobs. Can you see the irony of it all?

Being totally 'free' like a bird now...I can focus more on my kids. Perhaps TOO focus that I am stressing my self about them. The great thing is I can laugh more with my girl. I can go to bed looking at her...appreciating everything cute and not-so-cute about her. Give her more kisses. Give her more hugs. I can relax and experiment more different kind of dishes for dinner every day now. I think hubby is happy...but I guess after a while...my 'steam' and excitement will run out. And I will get bored staying at home Full Time soon. And my sanity will turn to 'insanity'.

At the end of the day, I think I am greedy. I want to be with my kids. Watch them grow. Don't want to worry about work. But then again, want to enjoy life. Want to go for holidays.Want to buy stuff for the kids. Which I can't if I don't earn money! We can't have it all...

Inconsiderate parents

There is ONE thing that I have very low tolerance to is...Inconsiderate people!

Sometimes it is very saddening and sickening to see how selfish people have become nowadays. I am not sure it is attributed to bringing up or more to people being too full of themselves. Whatever the reason it may be...these adults are just teaching their kids to be 'selfish' just like them.

Almost everyday we would encounter 'inconsiderate' people. It can be drivers on the road...kiasu drivers who just don't give way eventhough they see you signalling and somewhat speed up...it can be people in the bank or shopping mall who just don't know how to queue like other people do...or it can be 'customers' who just barge in to get service eventhough the service provider is engaged with someone else.

Today, an inconsiderate parent...a lady...who have not left a very good impression with me already last time...it was raining and we parents can go in to the school compound to fetch our kids. There are only 2 sections that parents can park their car. This lady...just couldn't be bothered to park her car properly and just occupied the whole section. One section can fit 2 cars. Luckily there was another space for me to park. Is it too hard to think of other parents and maybe they would need to fetch their kids too and that they wouldn't have a parking place??? Sigh.

Another case of inconsiderate parents. Would you ever send your child to a party if he was in the middle of having chicken pox??? Definitely NOT , right??? Well, unfortunately there are parents who don't care and give a damn and did exactly that. Ryan attended a party not too long ago...and the parents allowed their child who had CP to attend the party.

Sigh.

Sometimes I wish...

...I was more ambitious. More career-minded. It seems that I am more a 'family first' type of person than chasing my own dreams. I know its by choice that I don't want to work full time. But that is the thing. If I was more ambitious type of person, I would not be making that choice.

...I had a clear talent or skill. Since young, I was the one that could remember things well. Good memory. That was all. But was never sporty or excelled in a certain sport or skill. Often I do feel inspired by individuals who could sew or draw or had a particular skill. I know, its all about cultivating a skill. Not everyone is born with skills.Even my piano...I never completed till Grade 8. Its like everything was done half cook!!! :p

...I was more adventurous. Deep down in my heart, I have the yearning to TRY and DO so many things. That is it. Just thoughts. But most of the time, I won't execute those thoughts. Call me chicken. Call me someone who thinks too much. Or just call me plain ol' L.A.Z.Y!

...my mum was still alive and around in my life. Eventhough our relationship was quite a roller coaster ride, I would say we had a very open type of mother daughter relationship. And it would have been really cool and great if she was part of my life now as I began my journey as a mother myself 5 years ago. Pity she had to exit this earth life so hastily.

...I was more a dedicated mother to my 2 kids. I have alot of plans. Plans to do stuff with them. Plans to take them here and there. Everyday I wake up feeling guilty to have to make the television as a form of a babysitter for them while I do the daily house chores. Not that I do those chores everyday too. Ask hubby. The toilet is always in a constant state of 'you know what!' I don't know where the time in a day goes. Before you know it, its the end of the day and I still haven't done anything constructive with the kids...besides yelling at them, training Ally to pee in the jamban or getting Ryan to stop playing the Ipad.

...I had more money. Not in a greedy way. In a way that I can provide more for the kids. Give them a better education. Not having to think twice and thrice on what courses/classes I can afford to put them in because of the sky rocketing fees. Having them to eat better food. Not only 'chap fun' and tai chow fare but nice restaurants that I often see in other family blogs. Getting more toys and play things for them. It takes me a long time to think getting Ally a certain toy is worth that amount of money. Only when it comes to special occasions...then I let loose.

...I had a religion. An active believe. Been out of 'christianity' since leaving form 5...so in a way, I don't have a religion. I always tell people I am an 'inactive' Christian. Still a believer. But just not going to any church. I would like to raise my kids with some Christian values...but then again, there is so many things that makes in quite impossible.

...I could be close to my mother in law. Due to our language barrier...( my minimal Cantonese and zero mandarin capabilities)...its just a hi and bye kind of communication most of the time when I see her. Expressing myself more than "I am full...have you eaten?" or "How are you?" would be deemed quite hard.I really hope that I could strike a closer relationship with her for the sake of hubby and the kids.

...I could be a better cook and baker. Honestly, I don't think I can cook. Bearable kind of food. But most of the time, I realise I have to follow the recipe closely ....then only it turns out ok. I have tried MANY times baking cookies...most of the time, it doesn't turn out nice.