My shoe wishlist

I am a one shoe girl.

Meaning that normally I would wear one shoe until it gives way before I get another one. I live more in sandals.

After suffering from a painful Morton's toe for the past 3 months and am flat footed, I have decided to spend some money on good shoes. First I thought of fitflops but after trying them, they were not really suitable. Took me months to look around for something I liked. Not too sure if these shoes that I plan to get would alleviate my problem, but well, never try, never know. Especially when it comes to footwear, it is an individul comfort. I have NEVER spent this kind of amount on shoes..all my shoes have been RM100 and below. But I figured that I better give my feet some attention as the effects of painful and sore feet can be rather unbearable.

Birkenstock Papillio Sandals

Clarks Un Sugar (for work)

2013...Here we come!!!

I thought 2012 would be a good year...since it is the Dragon Year and I am a dragon baby...but well, we don't really believe in all that, do we?

Honestly, 2012 was a speedy year. I seriously cannot really recall anything significant that I could jot down here. Maybe a few trips here and there...and a few milestones for the kids.

As for me, it hasn't been a really good year for me. I was sick for almost 2 months...having a persistent cough during midyear. The kids were also sick rather often this year. Especially Ally. Got well and then kena again cough like a few weeks later. So it was medicine, doctor...checking temperature and medicine again. A merry go round.

But hey, I don't want to remember all that. I just want 2013 to be a healthier year for all of us. Especially now that hubby's uric acid level has shot up over the upper limit and my cholesterol level is going to shoot up now that I have decided to stop Hypocol. Now, all I can think is how to cook healthier and exclude food that would affect his uric acid level. My UA level isn't very good either. So have to really watch what we eat! I also hope to start some yoga class. I just read my 2012 To-do list and it was in my list that year. Can bring forward to 2013...hope I can fulfill it!

Ryan will be starting Primary 1 in 2 days time. Allyson would be starting kindy too. How my anxiety level will shoot up by tomorrow. Anyway,that will be in 2013. Will have to face it no matter what. Ryan is having fever and sore throat now. Hope he will be okay by then.

So what do I look forward in 2013?

- A new android handphone...finally!!! I thought I would not get one and would just be happy with my old NOKIA phone...but I suddenly like the idea to have a phone where I can go online whenever I am out somewhere. Gonna settle for a SONY xperia.

- Preparing different kinds of lunch box for Ryan to take to school. I am collecting lunchbox ideas now. Hope I will be hardworking enough to execute them. I might just get lazy and get those buns for the bakery for him.

-Driver for the kids. Ally will be in morning session kindy and Ryan in afternoon school. In between, have to prepare meals for them before I locum at W in the evenings twice a week.

-I have to tell Hubs that we have to at least take the kids to one special holiday destination in 2013.

-Enrol myself in some yoga class. Fashion makeover. ( This to-do goal has been over and over again in my list...and still not done yet!...sigh!)

-Most importantly...improve TIME MANAGEMENT!!!! That is the ultimate goal that I have to maintain the entire year.

-Reignite my cooking mojo. Perhaps bake more....and improve my kitchen tools. The tools that I have now...some very old.

 I am gonna get my sugar fix now. We got some cakes to celebrate in the new year.

No more Ms Nice Girl!

I am afraid I have to dig somewhere deep inside my closet and take out my 'Not a Nice Girl' hat now!

Someone has been really testing my patience...and now, I guess I have to be stern now!

I don't like it. Makes me nervous. Especially I am the one making the decisions.

And nope, it is not hubby or kids!

No more oven

Took out the butter, took out all the ingredients...

measured the flour and sugar...

went over to switch on the oven ....

CHIAK!!!

The door got stuck...and then the glass panel came out.

And that was it.

My almost 3 year old oven is over and out!!!

Okay la.It wasn't much of an oven. It is those portable electric oven. But it was good enough for me. Although there was uneven heat at some spots of the oven.

Was gonna bake an apple cake for the kids.

Never mind. Good Good. Gives me an excuse to go get a better nicer one!!!

The Ups and Downs of being a FTSAHM

It has been officially 3 weeks since I have been a FTSAHM. Before March, I was a PTSAHM! :)

So how is the journey so far?

Let's say...there are some days I wake up...glad that I don't have to worry or stress about anything related to work and proceed through the day just chilling. BUT there are moments throughout the day where it suddenly hits me that I CAN"T GO ON LIKE THIS! I NEED INCOME!

I guess the hardest part is realising that when everytime I am using my money to buy things for the kids, family etc...there isn't anymore coming in to replace it! So that is where I will feel down for awhile.. and feeling bad that I want to give my kids a little bit of something extra.But yet again, I have to start making the ringgit stretch a little further till I get another locum job.

And THAT...is another problem. I am enjoying being 'jobless' (BUT not incomeless, mind u)...that I am too complacent and comfortable to actually move my butt to inquire about locum jobs. Can you see the irony of it all?

Being totally 'free' like a bird now...I can focus more on my kids. Perhaps TOO focus that I am stressing my self about them. The great thing is I can laugh more with my girl. I can go to bed looking at her...appreciating everything cute and not-so-cute about her. Give her more kisses. Give her more hugs. I can relax and experiment more different kind of dishes for dinner every day now. I think hubby is happy...but I guess after a while...my 'steam' and excitement will run out. And I will get bored staying at home Full Time soon. And my sanity will turn to 'insanity'.

At the end of the day, I think I am greedy. I want to be with my kids. Watch them grow. Don't want to worry about work. But then again, want to enjoy life. Want to go for holidays.Want to buy stuff for the kids. Which I can't if I don't earn money! We can't have it all...

Inconsiderate parents

There is ONE thing that I have very low tolerance to is...Inconsiderate people!

Sometimes it is very saddening and sickening to see how selfish people have become nowadays. I am not sure it is attributed to bringing up or more to people being too full of themselves. Whatever the reason it may be...these adults are just teaching their kids to be 'selfish' just like them.

Almost everyday we would encounter 'inconsiderate' people. It can be drivers on the road...kiasu drivers who just don't give way eventhough they see you signalling and somewhat speed up...it can be people in the bank or shopping mall who just don't know how to queue like other people do...or it can be 'customers' who just barge in to get service eventhough the service provider is engaged with someone else.

Today, an inconsiderate parent...a lady...who have not left a very good impression with me already last time...it was raining and we parents can go in to the school compound to fetch our kids. There are only 2 sections that parents can park their car. This lady...just couldn't be bothered to park her car properly and just occupied the whole section. One section can fit 2 cars. Luckily there was another space for me to park. Is it too hard to think of other parents and maybe they would need to fetch their kids too and that they wouldn't have a parking place??? Sigh.

Another case of inconsiderate parents. Would you ever send your child to a party if he was in the middle of having chicken pox??? Definitely NOT , right??? Well, unfortunately there are parents who don't care and give a damn and did exactly that. Ryan attended a party not too long ago...and the parents allowed their child who had CP to attend the party.

Sigh.

Sometimes I wish...

...I was more ambitious. More career-minded. It seems that I am more a 'family first' type of person than chasing my own dreams. I know its by choice that I don't want to work full time. But that is the thing. If I was more ambitious type of person, I would not be making that choice.

...I had a clear talent or skill. Since young, I was the one that could remember things well. Good memory. That was all. But was never sporty or excelled in a certain sport or skill. Often I do feel inspired by individuals who could sew or draw or had a particular skill. I know, its all about cultivating a skill. Not everyone is born with skills.Even my piano...I never completed till Grade 8. Its like everything was done half cook!!! :p

...I was more adventurous. Deep down in my heart, I have the yearning to TRY and DO so many things. That is it. Just thoughts. But most of the time, I won't execute those thoughts. Call me chicken. Call me someone who thinks too much. Or just call me plain ol' L.A.Z.Y!

...my mum was still alive and around in my life. Eventhough our relationship was quite a roller coaster ride, I would say we had a very open type of mother daughter relationship. And it would have been really cool and great if she was part of my life now as I began my journey as a mother myself 5 years ago. Pity she had to exit this earth life so hastily.

...I was more a dedicated mother to my 2 kids. I have alot of plans. Plans to do stuff with them. Plans to take them here and there. Everyday I wake up feeling guilty to have to make the television as a form of a babysitter for them while I do the daily house chores. Not that I do those chores everyday too. Ask hubby. The toilet is always in a constant state of 'you know what!' I don't know where the time in a day goes. Before you know it, its the end of the day and I still haven't done anything constructive with the kids...besides yelling at them, training Ally to pee in the jamban or getting Ryan to stop playing the Ipad.

...I had more money. Not in a greedy way. In a way that I can provide more for the kids. Give them a better education. Not having to think twice and thrice on what courses/classes I can afford to put them in because of the sky rocketing fees. Having them to eat better food. Not only 'chap fun' and tai chow fare but nice restaurants that I often see in other family blogs. Getting more toys and play things for them. It takes me a long time to think getting Ally a certain toy is worth that amount of money. Only when it comes to special occasions...then I let loose.

...I had a religion. An active believe. Been out of 'christianity' since leaving form 5...so in a way, I don't have a religion. I always tell people I am an 'inactive' Christian. Still a believer. But just not going to any church. I would like to raise my kids with some Christian values...but then again, there is so many things that makes in quite impossible.

...I could be close to my mother in law. Due to our language barrier...( my minimal Cantonese and zero mandarin capabilities)...its just a hi and bye kind of communication most of the time when I see her. Expressing myself more than "I am full...have you eaten?" or "How are you?" would be deemed quite hard.I really hope that I could strike a closer relationship with her for the sake of hubby and the kids.

...I could be a better cook and baker. Honestly, I don't think I can cook. Bearable kind of food. But most of the time, I realise I have to follow the recipe closely ....then only it turns out ok. I have tried MANY times baking cookies...most of the time, it doesn't turn out nice.

A new year

...Now what?

The clock just striked 12 midnight 30 mins ago...

Am I suppose to turn into a pumpkin now? Or is the morning going to be any sweeter than any other mornings???

I guess with all the anticipation and excitement towards a new year....and once it unfolds, it makes you think whether is it actually just an ordinary day...just like any other day throughout the year OR its a day where we start afresh...a clean slate with new aspirations and goals?

As for me, I always look forward to a new year as a form of a reminder to me .... that things would always get better as we enter a new year. Leave whatever negative things behind and look towards better and brighter things in the future.

Do I sound like I am talking rubbish? Probably.My brain is half asleep. Everyone is asleep upstairs already. And hubby has to wake up at 5am for a marathon.

Ok Ok...let's get down to business. I normally don't have any new year resolutions. I would just say I have goals.And of course, I want to see a better ME this year.

1. Told myself I have to reignite my reading habits. And it is just not limited to cookery books!!! In 2011, I didn't read a single novel...and its pretty bad. Would definitely check out BookExcess soon...and stocking up on some feel good novels!

2. Start my project for the kids scrapbooking.I have abandoned it like years ago.And need to start developing all the family photos.

3. Live more healthily. Gotta gotta gotta find time to exercise. I read about this Jazzexercise program...sounds fun.

4.I must learn to try NEW things. Maybe start with breaking from the habit of always buying the same food stuff each time I go grocery shopping. Maybe try a different brand of biscuits, try a new recipe, eating at a different restaurant that I have never eaten before...

5. Enjoy the kids more.Give the kids more of a childhood. Laugh. Play. Fun.

6. Intend to attempt to teach Ryan piano. Not sure that would be possible. Probably would give up teaching him after one lesson!

2012...Year of the Dragon! I am a dragon baby. Let's make this a 'special' year!!!

The Chosen One

Of all the hundreds of cars in Empire Shopping Gallery car park yesterday night...

...this spiny hungry kitten chose MY car to go and hide. And some more, he/she managed to find its way to under the bonnet while I was shopping away. How it managed to do that...I have no idea!

When I got to my car to leave the car park, I heard meowing sounds. Very loud. Just thought that might be a stray kitten hiding somewhere. As I drove up the ramp, the sound was still there! S***! How could that be????

Stopped the car...looked under my tyres. Silly of me not to open my bonnet at that time. When I knocked the hub caps of the tyres...the meowing stopped. So I thought...Good! The cat ran away!

I drove off and left the building...and damn! The meowing started again! The silly kitten couldn't possibly under my bonnet right????

I stopped again outside Carrefour in the dark...(that was about 9:30pm already!)...and opened my bonnet...and lo and behold...two beady eyes looked back at me at the side of the engine. I was like...OMG! How did you get in there..silly kitten?? And why my car??? I tried to take it out...but as I reached to grab it,the kitten went and hid further into the engine. S*** again! I panicked! How am I gonna get it out? If i drive on...the heat of the engine would definitely kill the kitten and I would be having a dead kitten in my engine?????!!!! That would be a NIGHTMARE!

Called hubby who was at home with the kids....and he suggested to go to the nearest petrol station to ask for help. Perhaps flush it out or something. So I went to Shell ...got the help of the attendants there. They were rather helpful and tried to get it out...but there was nothing much they could do. The kitten probably had fallen to the side of the engine...and hopefully it wasn't stuck! I was rather panicking at that stage already. It was late. I had to go home. I am not gonna go home with a dead cat in my engine! While I was attempting to call the Honda 24Hour hotline....to ask for help....the kitten managed to get out of the entwined jungle of the engine...and stuck its head out. The attendant quickly grabbed its neck and took it out!!! You don't know how relieved I was...to see the kitten and safely removed from my engine! I was already having all visions in my head of the kitten decomposing in my engine...and maggots multiplying and the foul stench as I drove my car!!!! And getting to the workshop to open up the car frame just to get the kitten out!

Anyway...thank God that did not happen!

So Kitten...why my car???

Empire Shopping Gallery Explosion

Oh shucks! Where would I get a good selection of reasonably priced and fresh groceries now?

I would go to Jaya Grocer almost weekly. I liked their selection of vegetables and some of the food stuff were slightly cheaper than the hypermarkets.And for imported stuff...also quite reasonably priced.

According to the news, the shops would be closed to business until the source of the leak is finalised and the premise would be safe to be reopened.

I love going to the Toys R Us there too. And was even planning to bring Ally to the play gym soon. I know, I did complain once about the lifts there. But now, I don't take them anymore.

Hhhmmm...so have to look in other directions now temporarily. I guess have to settle for Carrefour for the moment.

Worrywart

I am definitely a worrywart.

I worry about everything lately. Actually I don't remember being like this a couple of years ago.

I wished I could control my thoughts and worries.

Worry worry worry...not good. May lead to hypertension next time.

Maybe reaching the mid thirties makes people more neurotic and sensitive.

I worry about how to be a better parent.

I worry about how to control my 2 year old tantrums.

I worry about my eye bags.

I worry about my job.

I worry about the safety of the food we consume.

I worry about my retirement finances

I worry that I am not being a good example to my kids.

I worry about my dad.

I worry about the health of my loved ones and myself.

I worry that I do not exercise.

I worry about how to be less insecure.

I worry that life is so unexpected and that I should live happy every day.

...and the list goes on...


And I MUST stop to be a people pleaser. Come on...I am an Adult! I must learn to say NO! And stand up to my opinions! But then again, I am afraid of getting people crossed. People like me just get easily bullied!!! I remember watching an Oprah episode many yonks ago and she was talking about people like me...and how she was like that last time! And how she just learnt to let go and say NO to people. Well, if I one of the most powerful and richest woman in the world ...who would dare to say anything to the big O, right?

Wide eyed

It is 5am now.

Went to the toilet...and now I can't go back to sleep.

Tossing and rolling on the bed.

Might as well write my blog.

Can't normally write a post when the little ones are awake.

But my brain still a bit sleepy.

Today will be a long day.

My to-do list

As @ 10/6/2011,
I have a couple of things to accomplish...

1. Thinking of starting on a pilates class

2. Ipad2 please!

3. Itching to get a waffle maker. Waffles for breakfast and tea. Sounds nice?

4. Elmo cupcakes for Ally's birthday next month. I don't even know how to use a piping bag. Dream on , Leona!

5. Getting some new baking utensils

American Idol Season 10...is over!

Kind of hated the finals. Not that I didn't like the finalists...it was just such a teenage showdown that they should have changed it to Teenage Idol! But now that it is over, kind of miss it. Well, after 5 months following this every year, it tends to be an anti-climax after the finals.

Am I happy with the winner Scotty?

Well what is there to say about a goodie All American boy with strong Christian values and loves his family to bits? I guess he represents what America wants to represent to the world.

Anyway I wish him all the best in his singing career. County genre isn't my cup of tea but if Carrie Underwood can sell millions after winning this title, I am sure Scotty can!

Crumpets and tea, anyone?

At approximately 5pm local time today...the whole world would be watching.

Whether we are fans of the royal family or not, somehow I guess we have all been roped into the media hype on the royal wedding today.

I switched on the radio this morning...the deejays were talking about weddings. I was watching ntv7 Breakfast show and the highlight was just on William and Kate. Yawn!

But still, I will still be clicking my remote to 712 E! Channel to see the wedding of the century. How not to miss it right? It is history. And we were part of it. Witnessing it I mean. I guess I will be looking forward more to see any celebrities who would be attending the historical event. And maybe a royalty here and there. And oh oh..the hats!

What I would love though is to get a hold on some memorabilia with the two love birds on it. Was thinking of asking my cousin in England to get maybe just a keychain or tissue holder or something. But then again, if the marriage turns sour ten years from now...what would I do with it??? Sell it on eBay? I just hope that Prince William would be the total opposite of his dad.

So, better toast my crumpets early...(I really miss those!) and get a cuppa of Tetley's tea ready and say...Long live the royal couple!

My thoughts...

12.38am.

Long time no update here.

Can see my mind is fully occupied with the kids. Juggling them, the daily routine, the house chores, meeting their needs and hubby and going to work twice a week.

Been trying to update their blog every other day if possible. If there is something to write about.

The kids health hasn't been too 'pink' since the start of the year. Prolonged cough...occasional fever...sore throat...sore eye. Hubby too. The year has just started. So I am being optimistic. Lots more to plan and look forward to.

Right now...my worries just points to Ally's speech development. At almost 20 months old...still no sign of talking or speaking singular words. She may understand the words..but her oral speech is totally nil. She doesn't even say 'Mummy'. Hubs and I are concerned at this point. Not even other simple words from her...for e.g dog, cat, star, car, open, milk. Everyday I am trying to find new ways to make her speak. Even summoning Ryan's help since she absolutely adores her brother and follows what ever he does. Came across this website too about speech therapy in children. But no time to go through it yet. Will read later.

Still no time for couple outing...as planned in my new year resolution. Seems that hubs needs to take his leave for something important so far...so couple day has to be put on hold.

American Idol Season 10 is interesting and not interesting at the same time. Up to now...it is getting rather disappointing. But let's see how it goes on. Still will watch. For entertainment.

My close and old friend who came back to Malaysia for CNY.

Her daughter E is as cute as a button!

My 2 darlings

Rantings

...My heart is heavy.

Another lazy day

Was suppose to update my blog.

Little girl sleeping in my room.

Quietness at last.

Won't be for long.

Got side tracked by looking at other food blogs.

So many out there. Tempting. Nice photos. Interesting recipes. But do they all turn out well?

Hungry.

Nothing to eat as I have a sore throat now.

Everyone at home is sick. Hubs has cold and throat infection. the 2 kids have noses running like a tap. The boy is better now.

Rummage the fridge now to see what to eat.

Bye.

How was my 2010?

Normally every year, on New Year Eve...I would write a summary of my year and save it on Microsoft Word. And won't probably read it until the next year 31st.
But this time, I would post it here. Just some reminders of last year.

Franky, I think my life revolves to much around the kids. Difficult not too...as I am with them almost ALL the time. Sometimes I wish I had a maid or in laws nearby where they look after the kids once in a while while hubby and I have some couple time. THAT is luxury that I have not had so far. I guess its only up to us to work around that right?

So what were the peaks and troughs of my year?

• Allyson's first birthday. Memorable. Fun. Special. She looked so cute in her pink polka dot dress.
• Ryan going through a phase where he didn't want to go to school because of a particular teacher who scolded him. It was hard dealing with a crying child every morning. Thank God after 2-3 months it got better.
• Going to Singapore for a weekend holiday and losing our brand new Sony digital camera in the toilet! Heartache!!!
• American Idol is getting worse and worse! Would I still watch it? You betcha!
• Had a burnout of sushi. Been eating at Sakae Sushi a tad too often throughout the year. NO more for the time being!
• Allyson admitted to hospital in June for 3 days. Doc was worried it was H1N1. Did a test and thankfully it was negative. Confirmed as influenza like illness.
• Nasty account with neighbour who abused their maid terribly. Even was going to report to police and embassy. Don't know what has happened to the maid after she was sent to hospital.
• Seeing my boy and girl develop into really interesting characters. Ryan has an avid interest in classical music now and loves facts especially about the world. Allyson...what can I say? She is one fearless little girl!
• The little girl walk at 1 year 3 months...joy to the world!
• Joining my in laws to Langkawi for a family holiday in November. Was excited for the kids. First time for them on plane, boat and cable car.
• My new nephew ( sis 3rd child) arrived on 1st Dec 2010. Handsome little chap.
• I love blogging!!!

2011... a new year. New challenges. New adventures. New obstacles. New memories.

I love my family!

Thank God I found the answer!

Okay...this is gonna be a rather 'gross' post. If you just had a meal...or having any GI upsets ... look away. This post is going to contain content of unpleasant nature!!! haha!

Yesterday, when I past motion... I was shocked to find oil in my stools. There was a layer of oil floating in the 'jamban' and it was orange in colour. I didn't give much thought about it. Just said to myself..."Strange!"

Today...again there was yellow/ orangey liquid when I did my movement. Quite a lot of it. Could it be something that I am consuming that is preventing the absorption of fats from my diet? Hence, it being eliminated in my stools. I only know of this effect if someone is consuming Orlistat (Xenical).

I was shocked that a few hours later... I found more oily excretions. THAT got me worried. Started to feel a bit weak inside. Okay..better google it quick!

So finally, I have time to sit down at the computer...and search around...and AHA...I found the culprit of my oily stools!!!

Apparently, consuming some oil-rich food in your diet may cause this...e.g certain fish or cashew nuts. So...BINGO...when Ryan was admitted to Sunway Hospital 2 days ago, the hospital serves 'butterfish' also known as escolar fish or snake mackerel in their menu. I had consumed a lot of it as they give a hefty portion of it each time. So ...this fish especially can cause people to pass orange like oily droplets in the stools as this fish has very high oil content because it cannot metabolise the wax esters in its diet.

I am so relieved now! I feel like Sherlock Holmes solving a mystery...


(** It pays to be nosey sometimes. I remember one year ago...I asked the canteen staff at the hospital what fish were they using in their menu, and she replied " Butterfish". At that time, I thought...never heard of such fish. Don't know whether she really knows what she is saying. But...now i know!!! :p )